When you come in, you have to get a key code. When you went in there, it started recording what you were doing. You would be allowed in that shed to fail and to try anything. You didn't have to seek permission, you didn't have to ask what you were doing, you didn't have to submit any proposal. You could try anything. He said that we've got all of this technology outside, but give someone a place and more importantly, a place of permission to try and fail and that's the room that you get the greatest growth.
This is Austin Fable, producer and co-host of the Science of Success. This episode of the Science of Success is brought to you by the mobile app Best Fiends. That's best friends, but without the R. Best Fiends is honestly one of the best mobile games I've ever played.
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That's Best Fiends. Check it out today. Let me know when you do and let's play together. I think curiosity is so important and I'm the same way, where I'll just relentlessly ask a question, ask series of questions, questions, questions until I really understand what's happening, because — and I have no fear of looking dumb or asking a stupid question, because if you can just figure out what the fundamental pieces are, a lot of times you can really understand pretty much anything if you're willing to ask about it, but it's so easy to fall into the trap of being afraid to ask, or being afraid to look dumb.
I thought that was another really good lesson to pull out of that story. The best salespeople in the planet are the kids. I'm hungry. I want a lollipop. Now, usually ends up with parents and I know this, but I do it. Go and wait. I'm stunned at how many people pretend as though they're intelligent. They can't explain it, because they actually don't know how to explain it and they don't know the information well enough. Told you before, I will ask as many times as necessary until I know what I need to know.
Now I don't care. I have no fear. I'm going to ask. Now would it be smart and we don't know each other, but would it be smart me asking you about what goes on in a Moto GP garage, or would it be smart of me asking the guy actually doing it? How many people are scared to ask the questions? Can you explain that to me? Ask the person actually teaching.
Ask the person that actually does it. That's the person you go to ask. There's another concept that I really like from the book that is tangential and relates to a lot of the stuff we've been talking about, both from a curiosity standpoint and even looking at the broader lessons that we're sharing about not being afraid to fail.
That's the concept that you call ugly works. Tell me a little bit more about that and explain it. The world got photoshopped overnight. Every advert you would look at, whether it be the TV, or print, posters, digital, Instagram, there wasn't a picture that you could post that you couldn't filter. The sky could be made bluer, the sea could be made greener, the girls and the guys can be made slimmer. There was so many filters that came across that we were actually taken away from what we were actually looking at.
We were becoming desensitized. If you remember the old magazines 10 years ago, you'd [inaudible Everything was just amazing. Then if you did your calculations, you realized that the beautiful woman walking down the beach, if you calculated the ratio of how long their legs are to the rest of the body, she actually worked out to be 7 foot, 3 inches.
It was just bullshit. Stuffs not right. Now if you remember, there was a movie that came out. It was a horror movie, but it was shot on cameras, but formulated to look like was shot on a cellphone, because the shaky hand of the cellphone, the bad reaction of a cellphone, we could all relate to.
Taking a bad photograph that isn't quite perfect, we can relate to that because that's our normal. Taking a superstar shot where everything's perfect, where no one else is on the beach, we know it's been photoshopped, but we can never attain that level of perfection.
As I always say, perfection, it's a blue unicorn with three testicles. It doesn't exist. With me, I keep things raw. I keep things simple. I keep things impactful, because as a species, humanity, we're not perfect. We spell things wrong. Photographs are not filtered. They should not be. This is it. I was here, it was a great meal, this is it. Don't make sure before you take that picture you get the old light and then make sure that everyone's moved off at the table. Take it as it is.
Keep it real. They don't know how to take a good photograph, because they've not been raised on the selfie-obsessed society that we are. It's relatable. At the end of the day, this is where it comes down to, relating and connecting.
I don't care you're selling insurance. The whole point is to connect easily. There should never be any effort and there can only be an effort when you're trying to be someone you're not. That is what comes over in your marketing. If you're trying to be more articulate than you are, if you're trying to use words. When I wrote my book, I had a ghostwriter help me.
The first ghost writer that we ever had wrote three chapters and we got it e-mailed to us. Let alone even try and say them. This is not you. This is someone trying to make you sound smart. Now I didn't take that rudely, because it's got to be you. I've got to be so transparent that I am impossible to misunderstand. This person was trying to make me sound like someone I wasn't. I would never say these words. We need someone who gets you and speaks as you and can relate to you. Now the next person that came on used shorter words, understood that she couldn't put anything in there that it wouldn't normally and naturally come out of my mouth.
You've really got to be very impactful. Don't try to fluff. Don't try to be someone you're not. Don't overcomplicate.
Keep it relatable and keep it impactful. It's okay to embarrass. No one that did anything fantastic did it by following others. You see here today, in the fast-paced world wherein, you are either a disrupter, or you're disrupted.
You don't have the chance of an even keel. You don't get a choice of whether or not to play, you only get a choice as to what team you're going to play for. I am stunned still why we are so discouraged in trying something different when we revere and rejoice everyone that does. How do you start to get past that fear? Stop thinking, just do. If you want to post something, don't spellcheck it, just post it.
It's what I mean. You got the point. Stop overthinking who you are, because you're trying to be someone that they want to do business with, that they envisage — this is a calculation that's tougher than the bloody Da Vinci code. Be you. That's the first thing. Here's the other thing you'll find out and I call it ROE in my coaching clients. I focus on an ROE, the return on effort, or the return on energy. Don't spend any of your effort or energy being someone you're not. Focus all of your energy and effort on being the solution to someone's problem and then finding that problem.
You see, when you've got a headache at in the morning and you get out of bed, do you have any care whatsoever of the packaging on your headache tablet, or do you just care that it does the job?
Stop worrying about your packaging. There's all this talk about, oh, brand identity and you've got to establish a brand. Solve a problem and allow your tribe to create your brand and your brand should be your credibility metrics, okay.
Tom does it. Brad does this. Get the people that you solve to be your marketing and you funnel. The first statement you said on there was how do people focus on not worrying and not getting frightened? For one, remove the effort. Secondly, get uncomfortable. It doesn't matter who you are. You could be working out for the entirety of your life, you would not do it because it would be very uncomfortable, because people would stare at you, because you were being different.
Now I'm not advising that you want to walk down the high street this afternoon naked, but I am advising you to reveal who you are and be proud of it and don't apologize for being you. That is something you should never ever do.
You will find that some people start to repel. He's very opinionated. Oh, he's got this. Oh, I'm not sure I quite relate to that. This is called filtering. Entrepreneurs are comfortable about being uncomfortable. Wantrepreneurs spend all their time taking selfies next to cars they don't own. Entrepreneurs are very comfortable with being uncomfortable. They like change. Because they like that change, they like failures, they like mistakes, because that's where their greatest growth comes from.
The thing is it scares the other people. All of a sudden, you become ostracized. That's why your podcast, you, that's why this podcast is so good, because it's giving the Hogwarts crowd, the cool kids, those people that are different, see things different permission and a place to learn and grow and express themselves.
You've got to understand, you're going to spend most of your life being uncomfortable. Here's a funny thing. When life throws something at you that you weren't expecting, hey, your environment has always been uncomfortable, this is nothing on you. I already mentor, I already coach, I already speak. All right, so maybe my speaking now has to be virtual for the next couple of months and not on stage. Maybe I need to be focusing more on my videos. Maybe I need to be using Zoom more than everyone did.
We just find a way to react to the cards that we've been given. Oh, my God. How am I going to survive? Then what do they do? They watch TV. That's not the crowd that we're speaking to today. If it bothers you, so it should. I do so many things in my life that make me uncomfortable. Speaking with you, we've never spoken before, it makes me feel slightly on edge. I'm going down a different door today. I'm going down a different path. I'm going to try something different. I'll turn everyone.
Get used to being uncomfortable. It will become your new normal. You will stretch your barrier. I had a client of mine, wanted to have a dinner in Florence to show off to his mother-in-law and father-in-law, because he was engaged.
I actually took over the Accademia Museum in Florence, set up a table of six at the feet of Michelangelo's David. I took over a museum for a dinner date.
Then halfway through it, I actually had Andrea Bocelli coming and serenade them while he's eating his pasta. Now this not only impressed the mother-in-law and father-in-law, blew his socks off. But because I had refused to sell and I constantly got uncomfortable, hey, I could get a great little local venue. Let me get uncomfortable. Let me try and go through the wildest, wackiest thing I could possibly come up with.
Let me close down the most famous museum in the world, that houses the most famous statue in the world. Let me try there and then I'll go down. Too many people, we settle on what we can go for. We settle on what we can achieve. We settle for what is attainable or reachable. When you push a couple of steps up and you fail, which quite often you do, I tried to take over Buckingham Palace. I've tried to take over the White House and I've got declined, but I've ended up in this incredible other place, which is still 20 steps further than I would have got had I just settled for a good local location.
You find that when you start pushing, something strange happens. You start achieving. Then when you start achieving that level, if I go to Paris and I want to take over a museum for dinner party, do you think I'm going to get it? Yes or no. I got it in Florence. You've got to see where you can raise yourself to and then stay there.
That's your new normal. Now let's put a peg in and we'll go up a little higher. The Council, which is currently made up of 17 distinguished professionals, offers financial and estate planning expertise to individuals who are interested in making a legacy gift to one of the nearly charitable funds established at the Foundation.
Each Council member serves a 3-year term and act s as an important advocate for Atrium Health throughout our communities. In his role, Steve advises his clients on wealth management and investment solutions, including philanthropic giving. Throughout his career, Steve has been a deep believer in philanthropy and volunteerism. They will naturally talk themselves. They'll say, Oh, I'd love to play piano with that one, John, but he never talk to me.
I don't know how to get out of it. I can't even play. And they will give them all the reasons people spend time and energy on telling themselves why it can't happen.
Now, you said earlier about branding, and I'm a great believer the branding is quite a myth. OK, as I openly say to my students, it's a unicorn with three testicles.
It doesn't exist, OK, because branding is what people say about you when you've left. But now you can create the message, you can create the tone. You can try and install the logo. But if you haven't done it properly or if you've confused the clientele, then there's a problem. The branding is all what other people say about, you know, what you say about you.
Now, the funny thing was, as I was growing up, I didn't want to have a company. I didn't want to launch the world's largest experiential concierge firm. I didn't want to launch a book. I didn't want to launch a coach who I didn't want to launch any of these things. I just wanted to get into the minds of people that thought different. And these things I launched with vehicle was in order for me to do so. But along the way, because I never cared about branding, I would always turn up on a motorcycle, always wear black t shirt, tattoos, eyebrow piercing and all that kind of stuff.
I got a brand out of it, I got an image out of it. But my focus was, I'm not here because you found me on Tinder, I'm here because you want me to solve a problem.
You have whether it be a cocktail story, whether it be a business development, whether it be trying to make a fantastical holiday for your family because you haven't been together for like two years, whatever. I'm here to solve a problem. And in the classic style of marketing, if you're going to buy a diamond ring, if someone's going to buy you a diamond ring, let's say Fei Wu said, they turn up with two things.
One of them is a brown brown paper bag, say Fonseca's a McDonald's bag. And inside of it is a little white tissue. And you unload that tissue and there's a beautiful diamond ring that you may be happy. OK, but let's say from the site, the person who delivers the ring to you now provides you with a Cartier box. Which one do you prefer? Probably it's probably the first one, even I'm not a diamond person, but still you'd prefer the brown paper bag. Yeah, why I, I like that kind of surprises.
I like to kind of unfold and see something that I didn't quite expect. All right. Sadly, you're one of the very states that most people most people look at the county a box as a sign of credibility and the diamond ring in there has to be better.
Now, the blunt fact is you could go to the jewelry district in New York and get a far superior diamond. That is not stamped with Cartier and stick in that brown paper bag. But most people look at the packaging. But if you look at the reverse of this, if you've got a headache, if you've got a headache at two a. Now, that is the problem. When you're solving a problem, you aren't you don't have to worry about the marketing and branding anymore.
So for me, I never did. I never cared when I was turned down and I got turned down a lot. But it always gets me closer to a now. I would do it. I came up with these little things along the way, and if someone said no to me, the first thing I would do was look at them and say, Are you actually capable of. Are you in a position of power where you can say yes to me?
Quite often I realized I was either asking the wrong question or quite often, more often than not, I was asking the wrong person. You know, if you go up to the Met gala and you go to the valet boy and go, hey, can I go in? He can't say yes to you asking the wrong person, so I always knew there were two things that I lived by. One of them was the mosque and the whole question of the one person and the other one is there's always two doors into a house.
So if you can't get through one, go knock on the other. When that one, you can't get in, there's always windows. So there's always multiple ways to get into where you want to go. You've more than likely just ask the wrong person. So as I grew, it was the ignorance of not caring about Brandon that allowed this kind of gruff, weird look to actually work for me because I was walking into it. You imagine if you met someone and they started talking to you about business and they were naked. But totally naked.
But they solved your problem. Would you recommend them to someone else who had the same problem? If they solve the problem, yes, I would. It's a little awkward, but here's the thing. That awkwardness now becomes that branding, doesn't it? He's going to solve your problem, but keep the kids out of it because he always turns up like it.
OK, now that becomes the trademark and becomes the brand. Now that person is doing everything he can not to brand himself by even removing his clothing, but because of the awkward trigger these created in you, he's now established himself a fantastic brand and unicorn hasni. I love this marketing and branding, personal branding kind of demystifies that because I think we can break it down even further because you are solving problems that people with money can't always buy, can really sell for themselves or simply it's not just a problem that can be solved with money, but also in your case, with creativity and connection.
So I think a lot of creative entrepreneurs who are watching this right now, sometimes we make the mistake of thinking that this problem is really big in our head. They're finace creative entrepreneurs like our fitness, of course, get off your butt during the pandemic. You should be healthy and your family can love you and all that. But oftentimes, like when you're trying to sell to a client's other clients prospects, they don't realize the significance as the problem appears in your own head, like how do you teach people to solve the right problems or go after the right problems to solve?
So you're the part about the money. If you want Elton John to hang up on you, just phone you up or go, hey, how much will it cost me to get you to come to my barbecue party? And you'll just hear click the second you try to buy something, you prostitute it and no one wants to be a commodity. So you've got to say, hey, I want to create this experience and I want you to be a pinnacle part of that experience.
You've got to get them into your story, OK? And the money will come out. But that will be an afterthought. That'll be all, by the way, send you're going to be that kind of thing. But when you're working with the client and you're going, most of our problems are actually our problems because we've developed them and grown them in our heads.
So we've got to do and this is I talk about a lot of it is you've got to poke the bruise. You've got to expose what someone's problem is. If someone's listening to this and that fact or that shrubby or they put the pounds on covid, you know, are you comfortable about that? You know, you put these extra pounds on, that's going to be a bit aggravating as that, because you've had all this time where you could have been doing more exercise.
In fact, if you'd have been doing exercise with your family, not only would you have been getting rid of those pounds, you'd have been connecting with the family because the byproduct would have been that you would have been spending dedicate your time and, you know, be growing your health time. OK, and also, he's one of the biggest dangers we got is Koby, this has gone past two weeks, OK?
It's gone heavily into the habit forming period. So the habits that you've built during covid are now going to be tough to to get rid of. OK, thank you.
All of the people that are never going to send their kids back to school because I used to homeschooling, never going to want to go into the office because they've now set up a perfectly adequate studio at home. OK, they don't want TV anymore because it's always bad news. That's just going to stick to the the shows that they can buy, like Peacock and Netflix and Amazon Prime. I got rid of my satellites purely and simply because we've created habits. So you've got to poke the blues and expose it.
And most people don't realize, is that so it's you've got to ask the questions that they have an awesome selves. Are you happy with the way this is? How is your finances? You know, are you happy with the way the as covid has come along? It's it's exposed how fragile you are with your money.
Are you comfortable with that? So you've got to poke the bruises and answer the questions to people haven't verbalized yet.
I love that you've become the solution because when you when you can expose the Bruce. Then you can actually come up with a solution to the problem is going to get that bruise. And again, people won't mind if I offer you two things. And I did this on a stage once and it was kind of a bit weird. But if I was to walk on stage and say, hey, run out the back door, I've got six beautiful women out there, each holding a suitcase. And in each one of those suitcases is one hundred thousand dollars.
I'll stop talking. Go and get it. How many people in the auditorium do you think run out to look to see if there was a girl out there? I depends on where you're giving the speech, but in general, I would think people would be questioning that deeply. It was in San Diego and I saw a couple of the doors open up at the back, but only by the people that were actually leaning on them, all the people out front.
What's all this about? I look at each other and quizzical. Now you imagine another scenario. I come running on the stage, I grab the microphone.
I don't say anything other than the word fire. How many people do you think that run out that back door? Everybody, we move on now. We're slow to respond to inspiration, motivational. Anything is going to improve us. If I had had those six girls out there, I doubt anybody would have known about it. OK, but the second I give you something that's going to hurt you, go for it.
So the best way to Mark is to find out what your problem is, you know, what's in you and how can I remove that pain? Once you start focusing on that, it goes back to the Brandon. You don't have to care what I look like. I love when you address the pain because a lot of people are living in pain at various levels. And you pinpointed something even at the very beginning, which is we're still living in the pandemic. The vaccine may be coming out soon. But I mean, people like you, myself, and probably people who are watching this are not going to be getting it right away.
It comes down to the essential workers and people, elderly people, maybe children. And you talked about the idea of pivoting, and that is something a lot of my clients are struggling with because it's a situation that even though we saw coming from afar, but then it kind of came and appeared and became very severe in the states very, very quickly. And so people don't know how to react and respond. And like you said, you could be like actually, you know, very wealthy in this event business.
And now you can't just deliver send your clients to go to Vatican City, have a wedding overnight. Like how I guess how have you pivoted will be part one of the question. And what can people listening to this to say? I am how how am I supposed to do that? Is it a mindset shift? So, again, a lot of good questions there. So let's unpack them. Prior to that, nobody knew who I was unless you were building it.
That that's the that's the bottom truth. Because the never marketed, the never branded, never bothered in any of that. I just focused on those clients. And then when the book came out, that's when I started doing students distillery and started doing speakeasy events and things. So I already had these two things going on. One, the experiential concierge and one, the online presence to basically go, hey, if a great guy from London could be doing this with Elton John, you're already out of excuses.
So I already had that when my income fell. And I have a lot of Asian clients when my income started to go south last December, when we started to feel something was happening and was happening was a tidal wave. It was happening over there first. And I suddenly saw in the finances in December, we started pivoting more into the how can we help people on a digital world?
So we were very lucky, but it was a mindset. Now, here's the big thing. When the pandemic, forget the word pandemic, OK? We're in a moment of distortion and destruction and we have the zero thing that we need all the oxygen. And that's clarity. Most people don't like change. We all get flustered. When is and when we're coming up to the challenge of a new president. We always get flustered when we're moving into a new house.
You know? You know, the house is a beautiful thing for you to be excited about. But how many times you get stressed about it? So we don't like change and now we've been forced on it. Now the recession does the same. As an entrepreneur. We first off need to get comfortable with being uncomfortable because entrepreneurs are always trying to do things in the space that they're not built to do it.
And we always want to disrupt. I talk I talk to to my people and call them creative disruptions, OK, we've got to be able to disrupt and we've got to be able to create two things that I can't do. OK, and this is the mindshift, the richest person on a rainy day is the guy selling umbrellas. So the second we found me fell into that distortion, destruction, and this one just happens to be called pandemic.
What if we fall into a recession next year? You know what? If something we get the plague two years after that, maybe, God forbid there's a war. You know, these all moments where we lose clarity because we fall into an area of I don't know. But you have the decision. And the person I call these entrepreneurs, the person that decided on day way of day one of the clamp down of a pandemic to just binge watch everything they could on Netflix. That person is not an entrepreneur, but how many entrepreneurs on the day one of clothes turned around and went, OK, I don't know how long this is going to last, so how can I make this work for me?
How can I start doing more podcasts? How can I start doing more live streams? How can I start sending out better content on my emails? How can I start building up a community? How could I the. How to how can I. It's those people that are activated that actually make movement. And as a good friend of mine, Joe Polish says is aggravated oyster's to make Pells, we as entrepreneurs focused on doing something better during this time of distraction, not the entrepreneurs, the entrepreneur.
So if you're saying that your finances have been impacted, everyone's has, but not your dreams and your goals, how can you look at what you do? Reevaluate your assets. And then all of them out there to solve someone else's problem.
Love it, because the moment I felt like I was already not very interested in TV since I became an entrepreneur before before that, working full time, it was such an escape, something I really look forward to. The moment I became an entrepreneur in early twenty sixteen, I lost interest like doesn't matter. Could be my favorite shows like 10, I could just now watch it. I could just pause in the middle of an episode, be distracted.
I have to write an idea down on a notepad or whatever it may be. And exactly like you said, the moment you've pinpointed so accurately, the moment we hear that pandemic in March, I said, I'm going live with every single episode, reducing production costs and reaching more people.
And by the way, while I'm at it, I'm going to teach all the other content creators to do the same. So my community started to grow and other people started experimenting that months later after I've told them with the tutorials and now they're seeing an uptick in all their engagement, whether it's being an author or a podcast or whatever it may be.
Yeah, exactly. And that's the difference. And I'll I'll I'll call a little bit of bullshit here. I don't think you became an entrepreneur. I think he just revealed the entrepreneur you were. I don't think I don't think you can become an entrepreneur. I think you just suddenly give in to the fact that, hey, you're different, you know, time to be me. So I think you just let it out. Yeah, I you're right, because I couldn't I feel so unsettling if I don't start doing some things such as, you know, I was in a meeting and there are many breakdowns.
I know you facilitate a lot of these sessions. And the timer as a feature was I feel like should be built into Zoom, but it's not. So you end up having these breakouts with four people, each person supposed to talk to two minutes, talk about two minutes each. Ten minutes later, it's the same person. So everyone's struggling like, am I the timekeeper? I don't want to be rude. So I developed as a little timer thing. It's it's like this super silly video.
And after I launched, I have so I've sold close to like one hundred copies and I did it in like five minutes. So I but like you said, the moment I saw that opportunity, I had to do it. It was in the morning. So I don't I almost feel I almost feel a little rude for like, I'm not celebrating the pandemic. I know it's been super painful, but it somehow forced me into a new territory, a new way of thinking and be able to connect with people like yourself who probably wouldn't be otherwise too busy to even get on the show.
So thank you for. Well, I'm going to I'm going there's been there's been a lot of unfortunates within covid, but there's been a lot more positives.
And this may sound funny, but my wife pointed out to me in March that in March, when we didn't travel because of the first month of covid, she said that's the first time I haven't traveled in a month for nine years.
So I've been with that beautiful woman for thirty five years. I've spent all this time just with her. My garden's good, my business is good, my wardrobe's clean, my garage is clean. I actually think that stuffing covid that you could be very, very grateful for. I also think it's an amplifier. You see, if you're in a good mood on a Friday night and you drink a couple of wine or a couple of whiskeys, how is your happiness?
Doesn't it? If you're miserable and depressed and you have a couple of drinks, what is it? That's the same with covid. How many businesses already fragile before covid came along.
Now there's been a lot of innocent local sandwich shop. But if your business was already teetering on trouble or if your relationship was teetering on trouble, it is just amplified and exposed it.
That needs to clean up. So it's been very good. It's how you accept it and I've accepted it. We did something that we're doing on the night. It's actually one more week and I'd love you to come. It's the virtual happy hour. OK, now, when Kobe came along, I realized that every Friday night I would have five o'clock in the evening, pull myself an old fashioned and just look at the wait.
Didn't go to plan, did it go as I wanted. What did I learn? I was just analyze the way so we would all do it in my family. So when I said, look, this Flyte covid is not going to stop me pull an old fashioned. Do you want to join me via Zoom? I want to just chat about the week and tell bad dad jokes.
No promotion, no selling, none of that. And it took off and we ended up doing 19 virtual happy hours. And then we did the Breakfast Club in the Entrepreneurs Advantage. And this is with no alcohol because it's like at seven o'clock in the morning.
But it suddenly started growing. And I realized, as you say, quite accurately, people still want to connect. More than ever, so give them a way to do it, and we did it by literally telling and trust me, if you do show up. These are really bad jokes. We pick the worst jokes known to mankind and we just sit there talking about nothing of impact, just thinking whisky's cup of coffee.
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